Where is the love?
On the old, tired and tested emotion
Love is a strange thing; it comes in all different structures and forms. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting," what an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had.
When it comes to sweeping generalisations, no one has a clue about love. All humans have no sense of love. All instruction manuals are pointless; all romantic comedies are inaccurate.
I am obsessed by love and amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. Love is inevitable. It was Shakespeare who also said "Love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. It's called unrequited love.
The love we all hate
Unrequited love is love that is not openly reciprocated or understood as such, even though reciprocation is usually deeply desired. This love is otherwise known as ‘Agape love’. The beloved may, or may not, be aware of the admirer's deep affections. At one point we all experience this, unless of course you possess the ‘Girl next door’ look.
This type of love has many symptoms;
• When more time is spent on the person you love, than you would ever spend on yourself. Even if they would never give you the same sacrifice.
• When you try to find new ways to hate them, because then at least it wouldn't hurt so much.
• When everything is out of your control.
• When you can't say why you love them, and to you that's the strongest love anyone can ever have.
• When you sit and write something like this crying to yourself, and wondering why you are so pathetic.
• When they have told you that they don't love you. And you would do anything to say those same words...and mean it.
What about their stories, the people who fall in love alone? They are the victims of the one sided affair. They are the cursed of the loved ones. They are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. Is love meant to hurt that much? Why do we do it to ourselves?
Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. In the words of drama practitioner Bertolt Brecht “Boy meets Girl, So What?” Is love really the only reason for our existence? Life would be a terribly dreary assault course if no one fell in love, but, that said maybe love doesn’t suit everyone.
The love we crave
Eros love or otherwise known as "erotic love”, is based on strong feelings toward one another. This love is based more on physical traits. The weakness with this type of love is obvious. It is based more on "self-benefit", of what can benefit you, rather than the other person. This is "I love you because it feels good, and makes ME happy loving you.”
We all do it!
A common factor of love is being in love with the "concept of love" itself, rather than for who the person is. TV, Movies, and the media has "romanticised" so much, it is often hard to see reality from fiction. Over-relying on pure emotion, without the balance of logic, is a recipe for failure.
“Where is the love?” asked the Black Eyed Peas. Is love the meaning of life? You’ve got to love yourself before you love others, which is harder than it sounds.
The love that’s right in front of us
Philos love is a love based on friendship between two people. It is true that two lovers that start out by being friends first before becoming partners usually are the relationships that last more, long-term. Friendship is the foundation of a successful relationship.
When all seems lost will love show you the way!!
